... And by "surfing" in mean couch surfing.
This week has been an interesting week. I've been introduced to two websites that I would never have thought to exist. One is a dating site for married people who want to commit adultery. {Call me a prude, but I'm just not going to glorify it with a link} The other, is CouchSurfing.org.
Perhaps you remember when you were college age, or thereabouts, and you visited your young and poor buddies in their cramped postage-stamp sized efficiency in the city. Where did you sleep? On their couch of course. Or, if they slept on your own couch, you may have slept on the floor. Perhaps a similar situation played itself out with a "friend-of-a-friend."
This is called couch surfing. And it should come as no surprise... {should being the operative word, because both sites shocked the hell out of me}...it should come as no surprise that couch surfing has become organized on a global scale through the magic of web 2.0 and the lure of social networking in cyber space.
Ok, ok, I hear you. BFD you might be thinking. This type of user-generated content and social networking IS the web. What's the big woop?
The big woop is this: couch surfing links the virtual with the real world. While arguably other sites such as CraigsList and Match.com do the same. Couch surfing is different. Barring the one-night-stand ads on CraigsList, CouchSurfing.org is unique in that you are inviting people you've met online into your most intimate space--your home.
My initial reaction: I'll get raped! So of course I googled "couchsurfing" and "rape," and guess what? A Hong Kong woman was raped last year in the UK. So there you go. There is a danger that a woman CouchSurfing to travel alone will get raped. Yup.
But searching further and digging deeper, the rape seems to be more the exception than the rule. It's hard to say why exactly this is. It could be a matter of self-selection among members. CouchSurfing seems to attract young and alternative crowds. It could be that there are thousands, not millions of members.
I could also be the safety mechanisms CouchSurfing.org has incorporated into its culture and policies. For example, the second questions in the FAQ section, which is part of the introductory reading for new members, is, "is it safe?" The first is, "is it really free." As outlined on their Safety Page, the folks at CouchSurfing are committed to promoting a safe environment for it's members. To this end they have employed a verification system which requires a credit card, which in turn requires a real name and address. There is also a fairly extensive and partially anonymous referral system. Given these options, a member can mitigate their risk by only surfing with or offering a couch for verified members with references.
Well I am holding off on my own verification process for now, and I currently do not have a couch available. But I have spent a great deal of time working on my profile and searching through member groups for like-minded people. Soooo, it looks like I will stay a while to check things out more.
Oh, yeah, and this morning, I casually mentioned the site to my husband. While I made no promises, and he had the same skeptical response as I did at first, we are trying to keep our minds and hearts open about the project.
It's just such a good idea. Question is: Is it a good idea for poeple our age, in their thirties? Or is this just a young person's thing. I hope it's not just for the young. I really like the idea of a foreign/regional travel exchange for adults.
Nice post Christie-
ReplyDeleteI'll take exception to your "exception not the rule" comment, as it suggests some kind of 50/50 tradeoff. I'm aware, obliquely of about 2 rapes associated with couchsurfing- and the one I know a bit more about was a woman surfing with a man or vice-versa. So far, according to the stats on the site, there have been almost 2 million successful interactions - which range from coffee to couches- so even if the number of rapes were thousands higher, it's probably statistically insignificant. It sounds offensive to talk about rape in that way, but I've been researching the abuse of women in general, and stats suggest that 1/4 women will be sexually abused and a much higher number will in some other way abused (physically, emotionally, etc...) and it also appears a good deal of rapes and molestations come from family members- those you trust and are most likely to allow to be alone with your family without question.
I encourage everyone to proceed with caution- but no more than with anyone else you meet. Strangers don't usually just come stay at your house, but friends of friends of friends do, and when their profile is filled out well, they have multiple excellent references, their name and address check out, and it's a woman staying in a family home, or a family staying in a family, I'm confident you have nothing to worry about.
I too am feeling old when i look at the stats - about half are under 25- but of a million people that still leaves many in our age range. I'd encourage you to join the family welcome group and get a feel of all the wonderful families out there who want to host other people, and there's a long-term exchange group as well, which works towards letting teens do xchanges around the world.
My first hosting experience was 4 people from brazil- they were on a govt program that gives them visas for 3 months- they work for 2, then get a month to travel around. They'd rented a car, had a GPS, and had all bought american laptops and digital cameras (half price). One was a HS computer teacher, the other a nurse, the other two in school (nursing and engineering, I think). Two girls, two guys. They all slept in a row on the floor downstairs and we had a good time.
In another case, it was an 18-year old german girl hitchhiking around the country with a backpack- if you're super-nervous, stick to women, and read their profiles. Also you don't have to host- could just meet for coffee- but if you want to be hosted you should host, and it'll open up a whole new world of authentic, affordable world travel.
Yeesh, i'm long-winded!
d.i.
I totally agree with you about the rape stats (not that I want to diminish the physical and psychological trauma of even one rape.) I think there is some misunderstanding; I actually do not believe there is "some kind of 50/50 trade off." Rather, I believe that CouchSurfing.org's safety precautions seem extensive and sophisticated. That, and the community really makes every effort to keep its members safe.
ReplyDeleteStill, there is always a risk, albeit small perhaps. And yes, one is free to compare this to other risks: driving, flying, any form of travel, eating high fructose corn syrup, what have you.
My point is less about the size of the risk and more about my initial reaction, which was, this is dangerous. This was mitigated by my inability to dig up legitimate dirt on CouchSurfing. I soured scores of Google pages and used numerous search terms in association with Couch Surfing, such as: rape, danger, violence, concerns, safety, etc.
Now granted, I have only been checking the site out for a week. I believe my caution is sensible and would be condoned by the CouchSurfing community, especially for noobs like me. With that said, I am also proceeding with an open mind. Why? because CouchSurfing seems like a great idea and a lot of fun. My husband and I will continue to explore with an eye toward hosting and traveling.
Thanks for the comment!
~clo
Great post and comments. I agree that while I am still a little nervous/skeptical I am intrigued enought to stay and see who I could meet or the places I could explore. I really wish something like this was around when i was younger and a bit more daring perhaps. But at least my fiance has a sense of adventure and helps me break out every once and awhile. So the meeting someone for dinrks/coffee is a great option.
ReplyDelete